the 3 step reflection program: past, present, and future

hello ladies.

i had to do a cram session on the reading this morning, trying to catch up on the missing days. i used to just skip the days i skipped, and jump onto the current date. but since it's like a story of moses and the jews, i figured i wouldn't want to miss out on something.

but i gotta say, reading the bible has always been a challenge for me, especially because of my short attention span. so reading 3 days worth of bible was like swallowing a dry, but very healthy, pill down my throat. (little bit. but maybe not as unpleasant actually. but you get a better picture thru exaggeration, in my opinion). so if you are like me and 3 days of reading seems daunting to you, i suggest you skip to todays because you don't want to miss todays.

the reason why we shouldn't miss today's reading is because it's very congruent with our favorite past time activity du jour: reflection. moses urge his people to stop and look back at their past. how much they had gone through and what they had to endure. these people were slaves. and moses got them out of egypt for what? 40 years of wondering in wilderness. however, moses remind them how God took care of His people. the time of wilderness was "to humble and test...in order to know what was in your heart." (v.2), to let us know "that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord" (v.3) God disciplined His people just like a parent disciplines his child. however, because our Father loves us, like a parent loves his child, he protects us.

just to briefly reiterate the future part, God urges us to keep His commands. and if we do so, He will continue to bless us with things unimaginable to our human mind. He will bless us and our children. However, we must keep in mind, that He blesses us because He loves us. not because we are so awesome and great. We need to stay humble and give thanks to God, our faithful God.

i went to berkeley, and it was possibly one of the hardest times i ever experienced. i never felt more incompetent and helpless in my life, in both studies and relationships. and i used to think i had it all. i thought i was the smartest and the most capable person i know. the world came crashing down as i was humbled and humiliated to the rock bottom. but now i know the time i went through was necessary, to be truly grateful for God's blessings and to be ready for His plan for me.

i gotta wrap this up cuz i gotta get back to work! i just want to say God never gives us more hardship than we can endure. and He won't bless us too much to a point where we'll become arrogant and ungrateful. we are at a great time in our lives where we can stop and reflect how God has provided for us in the past, and how we can keep His love in the future. i pray that God's love will flourish among us today, as it did in our past and as it will in our future. love you both.

okay, before i forget, i don't know why, i really don't but for today's reading i chanced across "hear o israel, the lord is our god, the lord is one" and it struck with me. I've heard this before a lot, i don't remember where, could've been in a movie, synagogue, or somewhere. i remember going oooh when i heard it then too. i'm not sure if it is one of the most famous sayings, but it definitely struck a chord.

Fear of God

dear children of God,

today i worked for maybe 40 min. 30 if i concentrated hard enough. But i am thankful that i have the time to do today's QT. :)

lot of the times... old testaments don't have a very profound, holy msgs that come thru deep thinking. they are most of the time just very straight forward. God tells us to listen to Him, to follow His commands. and.. voila. that's all folks.

today's scripture talks about the people who were in awe of God's glory. they told Moses, hey, God's pretty awesome so we will do what He says from now on. God heard this and was happy. He said as long as you do what I say, you and your children will be blessed. simple, right? but times are different and we don't literally hear God's voice, nor do we have people like Moses who act as a direct mediator. it's simple in words. but with our flawed and weak human mind, it's not that simple to act upon it.

God wants to bless us. but most of the time, we're just not ready for that kind of blessing. so instead, God has no choice but to remind us not to stray too far away from Him. My mom was very sick about 3 years ago. she suffered from a small stroke and lost her memory for few hours. my sister had to withdraw from school one semester and went back to LA to help out my parents. I thought God was awful for causing something devastating to our family. especially my mom who has been nothing but a great Christian her entire life. long story short, after some time has passed and my mom got her health back, I realized how far away our family has gotten off path from God. And God had no choice but to do a dramatic gesture to wake us up. to help us see what was really going on. if God didn't do that, i know things could've been a lot worse if not fatal.

people (jews? the people Moses led out from egypt) were not very nice. i apologize for my lack of resourceful information, but the gist is that they were awful. i'm talking murder, theft, adultery, etc. God was angry and He did punish them. God is love but He is also a scary God. He will do what He has to do to make sure we stay right by him. and when we do, He blesses us to an unimaginable extend. today's scripture reminds me that having a fear of God isn't a bad thing because it keeps me in check. and out of fear comes respect and love. i know God loves me. But He is a disciplinarian. and i am a better daughter for it.

alright! finally, time to go home :) talk to u guys later. love you both.

Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

We start our QT with the last six commandments.

Just to give you a little bit of background story, Moses got all his people out of Egypt, out of slavery, and they are going through the wilderness to get to the promised land. and during that time God has given Moses the 10 commandments that his people must keep. 

Today 16th's scripture is the last 6 commandments. 15th is the first 4. 

What I wanted to take from today's reading was, 1) how important it is to keep sabbath (the 7th day, which is Sunday for Christians), and 2) love my parents & neighbors.

Every Sunday, it's a battle -_- should i go to church or should i just sleep in? should i go to church or should i just go play? i've been going to church since i was a baby yet it's still a battle in my own head, and it still does sometimes feel like a burden. an obligation. but when i do go, i never regret that i went. (well most of the time lol). because as much as it is for my God who has blessed me and loved me so much, it is really for ME. it's a place where i go to listen to God's msg and feel challenged and rejuvenated in my life. it's like.. going to gas station to fill up my jetta-_-a lol. when i feel like i'm spiritually running low, church is a sure place to receive holy spirit and God's msg is what keeps me on the right track. and that is why it is so important to find the right church. and i hope we get to do that together.

I love my parents. Loving my mom is easy but it doesnt come as easy for my dad. Actually just yesterday, my dad called me. asking me when i was leaving to go have dinner with you guys. he was telling me to get his nicotine gum (he's quitting smoking yay!) from rite aid cuz it's out of his way. but i'm thinking.. its out of my way too. so how is that different from him going versus me going. if anything its easier for him cuz he's already outside right now. so after bitching at him based on what i think was "logic", he went to rite aid and got his gum. what a bitch i was right? sigh. i felt horrible afterward and thought i really need to love him more. he has his faults. probably a lot more than some ppl.. but now i see him as my opportunity to live in the love God has blessed me with. it's one thing to just receive love. but my dad is helping me actually apply that love in my life. it's all too easier talking about it than actually doing it. it'll always be difficult trying to love my dad as much as i should. but i know i can always count on God to help me and ultimately, triumph!

i meant to keep it short but it's gotten too long. lol. i would like to know what you guys thought about today's passage too. thanks for agreeing to do this qt with me. i hope we can enlighten each other and help guide each other thru our dark times. and i'm gonna try to pray everyday too. so let me know your prayer requests. i always keep you guys in my prayer but it's always better to have specific things we can pray on together. 

love you both.