We start our QT with the last six commandments.
Just to give you a little bit of background story, Moses got all his people out of Egypt, out of slavery, and they are going through the wilderness to get to the promised land. and during that time God has given Moses the 10 commandments that his people must keep. Today 16th's scripture is the last 6 commandments. 15th is the first 4.
What I wanted to take from today's reading was, 1) how important it is to keep sabbath (the 7th day, which is Sunday for Christians), and 2) love my parents & neighbors.
Every Sunday, it's a battle -_- should i go to church or should i just sleep in? should i go to church or should i just go play? i've been going to church since i was a baby yet it's still a battle in my own head, and it still does sometimes feel like a burden. an obligation. but when i do go, i never regret that i went. (well most of the time lol). because as much as it is for my God who has blessed me and loved me so much, it is really for ME. it's a place where i go to listen to God's msg and feel challenged and rejuvenated in my life. it's like.. going to gas station to fill up my jetta-_-a lol. when i feel like i'm spiritually running low, church is a sure place to receive holy spirit and God's msg is what keeps me on the right track. and that is why it is so important to find the right church. and i hope we get to do that together.
I love my parents. Loving my mom is easy but it doesnt come as easy for my dad. Actually just yesterday, my dad called me. asking me when i was leaving to go have dinner with you guys. he was telling me to get his nicotine gum (he's quitting smoking yay!) from rite aid cuz it's out of his way. but i'm thinking.. its out of my way too. so how is that different from him going versus me going. if anything its easier for him cuz he's already outside right now. so after bitching at him based on what i think was "logic", he went to rite aid and got his gum. what a bitch i was right? sigh. i felt horrible afterward and thought i really need to love him more. he has his faults. probably a lot more than some ppl.. but now i see him as my opportunity to live in the love God has blessed me with. it's one thing to just receive love. but my dad is helping me actually apply that love in my life. it's all too easier talking about it than actually doing it. it'll always be difficult trying to love my dad as much as i should. but i know i can always count on God to help me and ultimately, triumph!
i meant to keep it short but it's gotten too long. lol. i would like to know what you guys thought about today's passage too. thanks for agreeing to do this qt with me. i hope we can enlighten each other and help guide each other thru our dark times. and i'm gonna try to pray everyday too. so let me know your prayer requests. i always keep you guys in my prayer but it's always better to have specific things we can pray on together.
love you both.
My mom just called.. The instant I saw it was her my blood began to boil. I answered anyways because if I didn't it meant 2-4 subsequent calls within the hour, then complaints about how I never answer. I told her I was job searching and had pizza for lunch. I wasn't speaking much after that so she asked me if I was playing video games. I yelled at her that I'm not as lazy as she thinks I am, "I just told you I'M LOOKING FOR A JOB!" Then she tells me my sister never yells at her, in which I reply, "I'm not my sister, stop comparing us!" All the positive feelings I was feeling are now drowned in anger..
ReplyDeleteTodays reading asks if I love my friends and family as much as I can, or have made excuses not to. I love my friends w/o a doubt, but my family.. I love them, but at the same time I resent them. I resent the fact that I have been compared to my sister my entire life, the golden child of our family.
I guess my mom doesn't know how much it hurts me, even the little things like what she said today. I wept for the second time in my life. Unfortunately,they won't understand my feelings nor will they ever try to. I wish they (my mom and sister) were more emotionally open beings, but I just feel like they only care about their own emotional welfare and me? Well, I'm here to console them and swallow my own pain. I hope one day I can forgive them.
But in all of this, I am lucky, lucky to have wonderful friends who are there for me in ways I never imagined they could be.
I'm now taking my first steps toward God again. Let my spiritual healing begin! =)
i think one thing we can do together is pray for your mom and your sister. as we pray for God's love, we should pray that they also receive God's love as well. and that God will take notice of your pain and that He will help you in ways that we may not know exactly what. All I can say is 힘내! i know job searching is frustrating enough already. but always remember to stay positive. :) the jaded term goes "there's a silver lining to every cloud" or something like that. i think it's just one way of saying we should always be thankful no matter what the circumstance is. today i shall focus on the beautiful fact that i can go home at 5 and watch my favorite shows and get a good night rest. :)im so tired. haha. anyway hooray for our first post!
ReplyDeleteYour post made me reflect a lot just now. I always knew Yousun was the golden child in the family and I was always up to one-up her in everything. Lol to her face actually. When I'm about to buy my grandparents something nice, I always call her to tell her I'm going to buy this and that and she will ALWAYS send something more expensive. Of course, I call her right back tell her to watch out and make my gram tell Yousun mine was nicer/cuter/useful etc. But I always wondered, I know Youlee has a lot of resentment towards gram and Yousun for how she was always compared to her. I know Youlee loves my gram but I think they just don't think/feel in the same wavelength. It is not to say one is inferior to the other. Youlee is different in outlook that Yousun or Gram. However, to my gram, it is not something that she can understand. I realized I should be more of a open friend to my sister now than a parental figure as she gets older. I don't ever want her to feel that gram loves her less because of me. I know my grandmother loves all three of us. However, she shows love according to each person's needs. My brother is not easy to show too much love to because he has a tendency to use it against the person showing it to him, my sister it is easy to show love but I often forget to do so because she seems so capable and fine, I think I'm more needy in a sense that I need (ugh I dont want to say this) constant touch/words that I am loved. If I don't get it, I will go and demand it. I forgot what my point was except, Angie I hope you don't think your mom doesn't love you. I know she does, but I also suspect she's not really sure how to show it to you. I just want to let you know, you are always loved. There is no parent out there, (mine included -_-)who gave birth to their child and didn't love it at the most basic level. I know it's hard but I hope you can substitute the love that you need from us and others included. I believe in you, and although it gets frustrating, fight on is what I'd like to say. Koreans don't quit, you know that. :) This might sound bad, but imagine just how fully you are experiencing the human life. The joys, the pains, the depth, the everything. If you were going to be here once, as bad as it is, wouldn't you want to have lived life to its fullest including all the emotions that we are capable of feeling? I feel bad for those who have only known one majority feeling in their lives. I feel like they were left out. Anyways, I'm rambling. This is it :)
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